There's HOPE for my shoulder!!

Making healthy eating choices, going to the gym and running regularly- since my last post I've been doing pretty good. I think the key to anything is balance and I'm proud of the progress I have made. This shoulder injury has been a sobering, unmotivating and depressing obstacle. My shoulder hurt for the first time on April 4, 2011.

A few weeks ago, Reg and I met a chiropractor from the San Diego Running Institute in hopes of addressing a foot issue he's been having as we train for our first half-marathon. I decided to see what he might be able to do for my shoulder, I had no idea this guy treats people for more than foot/knee issues. Finding him was a pure accident.

Today was my first appointment. He diagnosed me the same as other doctors- an impingement in my supraspinatus shoulder muscle. When I shared with him that during two months of physical therapy. I'd been given shoulder exercises with some light massage, he explained that the injury wasn't actually being treated and it ended up healing ugly, with lots of scar tissue.

 So, with hopes high, I will be spending the next three weeks, twice per week, going in for some treatments from this chiropractor with a background in sports medicine.  Already, the treatment felt wonderful, while hurting in a "good way" (it felt like he was actually doing something!).

I was pretty sad the other day when someone who has known me for awhile told me he thought I was lifting lighter weights because I didn't want to go heavy. Like the light weight suits me, after all I'm  not the fastest person at our gym. Asthma is always there to slap me around when I think I might try to do something as fast as the others. Starting off overweight at a gym like CrossFit involves letting go of some ego, this injury has continued to test my ego and pride time and time again. Every day I remind myself of my purpose when I walk through the gym doors, it's about ME, it's about what I can do, and what others think about that isn't my concern. But in a program that involves so much community, what others think can be hard to ignore.

So, here's to high hopes! And if this doesn't work, I am going to continue to search for a long-term solution.

Do I want it BADLY enough?

Well do I want it badly enough? Fitness, that is. Strength. Why does any of that matter?

Look, let's be clear. I don't need to have a supermodel body, or look amazing naked . . . I have a husband who loved me with 60 more pounds on my small frame. But, exercise and good nutrition is the ONLY way I have found to feel GOOD every day.

Feel good? What does that mean? I felt good earlier at brunch, hammering down those mimosas and spending quality time with a  loved one. We can feel good without exercising and eating healthy (I DID keep the meal paleo!)

I'm talking about a "feel good" that touches my health in an emotional, physical, mental, and even spiritual way. It goes deep. And this type of "feel good" is the only way I am able to deliver on all the demands of my life. Right now, there are too many demands- I have taken on too much. I just need to survive the next two weeks, then the next two months, and hopefully then things will go back to the normal kind of crazy that I'm used to.

Something stuck with me, a random Facebook post, that has become a motivator for me over the last few weeks: "No matter how good your excuse is, you just don't want it badly enough." Or something like that. Well, we all know I have some damn good excuses, I commit myself to some damn good causes. All too often I don't make it into the gym because I'm working from the moment the owner unlocks the gym door at 6:30am until the moment the last workout is starting their stretches at 7pm. I'm usually working even later than that. So, I have felt pretty justified about not making it to the gym.  

But . . . when I make those excuses, since I didn't go to the gym, I don't feel good. I feel tired, burnt out, emotional, cranky . . .When I make time for ME, to recharge my batteries, I am a better wife, lover, teacher, daughter, sister, and friend. 

There are some days ahead of me where I will be working, working, working. But, even then, I can always do a five minute workout at home or go for a run. That much I can do. 

And this time, when I am faced with all kinds of crazy responsibilities and commitments . . .this time I am going to make sure that I leave room for the "feel good" by getting my workout in. If I'm not at the gym, I will be running at Mission Bay. This time, there will not be an excuse good enough to keep me from achieving my goals.

With all of that said, I am human, and appreciate your support when you notice my presence missing. You know who you are- those wonderful friends of mine who gently remind me . . . And, the only one who makes any of this doable is my husband: my chef, my go-to-guy who has been picking up my slack around the house, my cheerleader, and workout buddy. I am blessed to be Reggie's wife and to call on my good friends for support.

Crossfit links to the classroom

Breathe . . .in and out. Check the timer with big red numbers, “Do I have 2 minutes left yet?”  The numbers read 4:16 . . .”No,” the clock glares back at me. “Stop checking me out.” Steady, steady, I keep working, my muscles screaming, my lungs feeling like a clogged sink drain. The coach calls it out, as I knew he would, so why was I checking the clock in the first place? “Two minute warning! Time to hit that floor! Leave it all behind! Give it all you’ve got! Anything else you do from here is extra credit. GET IT!” Okay, he’ll usually only shout one of those phrases, but my mind fills in the rest. My adult-initiated asthma keeps me from going as fast as my muscles want to, but at the two-minute warning, I know that I’ll get to breathe and recover so that’s my moment to shine . . .

After every workout, we use some sort of self-reflection. Did we get a personal record (PR)? “Go write it on the PR Wall!” What was our time/score? “Go tell your coach or write it on the board!” How did we compare to our previous abilities? To others? (All scores go on the board . . .so we get an idea of how we did in relation to each other, and of course, brings out some natural competitive spirit. If I’m not in last place, I’m happy. When someone is last to finish a workout, or struggling, or even if we get to class early to catch the last one working hard, we cheer. We cheer our hearts out for each other. We are a family that works hard, motivates one another, and acknowledges EVERY effort. And because of this supportive environment, we keep coming back to beat our bodies up, no matter what our day has been like because we know . . . when we walk out, we feel more alive, stronger, and ready to tackle whatever the rest of the day has in store for us.

Naturally, I found myself asking, “How can I bring THIS into my classroom?” I find myself picturing ALL my students cheering each other on, striving for excellence, to improve their scores and be proud of their individual progress. “Does the Crossfit program have ties to the classroom?” I asked myself.

And I found out that yes, it does. 

Oh no! I gained!

I have been happily waiting for summer, not just because I was over-worked beyond belief, but because I knew that I'd have a chance to get back on track with working out, cooking healthy meals, and feeling healthier.

I told Reggie yesterday that I want to start every day with a run. I want to run before I do anything. No coffee, no TV, just run! Today I was pretty much on track to do that (I did make a work-related phone call first, but that's all!) I figured I'd visit my old friend, the scale, first to see how off-track I've gotten. It's also always nice to watch the numbers go down when you work hard. But I knew this time, the numbers would not be in my favor. I estimated maybe around 10 pounds weight-gain. My jeans are tight, but they still fit . . .barely.

I was shocked when the scale showed 21 pounds heavier than around my wedding last year. Just writing that sentence makes me want to type a bunch of expletives on this screen.  @#%K!!!!!!! So after exchanging some texts with Reggie (who, in typical man-style responded, "ok") I know I need to do a little more than what I'd originally planned.

So back to my blogging, Facebook posts, and anything else I can think of to hold myself accountable and keep myself on track. While before my diet was around 50% paleo, that number is about to go waaaaay up.

Here's my plan:

1. Run every morning before I do anything else
2. Eat hard-boiled eggs again every morning (or find a suitable Paleo substitute 'cause that gets boring!)
3. Eat my normal salads that I typically eat during the work week, but tend to ditch during the summer
4. Paleo cooking for dinner, which we've been doing, but I'll make sure to be strict about.
5. GLANCE at the Whole-30 website and see if it's a doable option.
6. Schedule my workouts for the whole week, so that they become like appointments that I have to plan everything else around.
7. Run again at night with Reggie!

I do still have to go to work during the "summer." I will also be attending a 4 week seminar for the month of July. So I think, as much as I really need a BREAK, maybe having a summer with structure in it won't be so bad. For example, I think this would be a good opportunity (in July) to try going to some of those 5:30am classes.  Maybe that's something I need to start doing during the school year, because my job has a way of pulling me in and holding onto my brain power until I finally leave around 7:30 pm. By then, it's too late to make a CFMG class, and then I just keep working when I get home instead of taking a break for a run or workout at home.

My ultimate goal? I'd really like to find better balance so that I don't gain like this in the future. I know that means being consistent . . .I have had some very real obstacles to doing this, but I have to remind myself that in the end, those obstacles are excuses, and not more important than my health.