Beat Your Best

Beat Your Best. Isn't that what Crossfit is supposed to be about? Continuously growing, overcoming obstacles, and improving your overall health and fitness? In fact, the moment we feel that we have achieved our best, we stop growing. I'm not talking about a plateau, which happens, and we fight our way through these momentary flat plains of fitness.

That's why I was excited, and surprisingly nervous, about an event at Crossfit Anaheim, called "Beat Your Best." The event challenged women to try to beat their best time for a workout called "Helen."  This particular workout  involves: a 400 meter run (1/4 of a mile); 21 kettlebell swings (35 lbs for females); and 12 pull-ups, all repeated for a total of 3 rounds.

My friend Michele and I signed up for the event together, and arrived a little early just in case, since Anaheim is about an hour and a half away. It surprised me that I had a hard time falling asleep the night before. I was really excited to try to beat my old time, which was 17:11 back in October 2010.

But when we arrived,  my heart raced and my stomach showed all the classic signs of nervousness. I had to remind myself that I was there to have fun and to beat my own time. It was not, and has never been about, winning for me. However, self-defeating thoughts ran through my mind: "What if I finish last?" and "What if I don't beat my own time?" Every time I walked into the Crossfit Anaheim gym, these nervous thoughts were there, so I spent as much time in the sun outdoors, distracting myself with the vendors, and getting some amusement at how many ladies had "big hair" at this event. I guess it's the LA influence, but it was a bit of a culture shock to see women dressed like big-haired divas at a Crossfit competition.

The event finally started, and I was in Heat 1, which consisted of the slowest times. I felt better that Michele was also in Heat 1, because who wants to be in the slow heat by themselves?!! However, we were the only people representing from Crossfit Mission Gorge, so being in the same heat meant we couldn't cheer each other on or take pictures and videos for each other.

Round 1- I started at a steady pace. I wasn't the slowest runner, but definitely not the fastest. Some women had to stop, and it felt good that I knew I could keep going. I did the kettle-bell swings unbroken, which I knew I could do. The pull-ups did not go as well. At our gym, on our bars, I can easily string together 5-6 pull-ups using the blue resistance band. At this gym, the bars were rough on my hands (not taped) and even with chalk, I could not keep my grip. I strung together 2-3 pull-ups at a time. I looked at the clock, finished the round in 5 minutes, and was excited at the possibility of getting a 15 minute time.

However, Round 1's pace did not continue into Round 2 and 3, as far as running goes. During my 2nd run, I was strategizing. "Should I sprint in on Round 3? At what point do I start the sprint, I would have to decide then." Ultimately, I decided to keep my pace steady because when I sprint, I also need recovery time before starting the next task. It probably would not be worth the few seconds saved. I heard Coach Ian's voice, saying "pace yourself" and decided to stick with what I knew to be the best course of action. I was also encouraged, because even though I was one of the last to leave the gym, I caught up to the others running and was not far behind Michele.

Overall, I shaved 1:03 off my original Helen time, and my best time is now: 16:08. I was happy to have beaten my old time. I was not as happy with my performance on the pull-ups, because I know in the right conditions I can string many more together.

After Michele and I recovered, we watched the rest of the competition. It was disheartening to see so many women not getting their chin even close to above the bar. There were women who could not do pull-ups, and they were going "RXd." I could get my chin as high as they were, and would never consider it a pull-up. It was even more disappointing because I knew if these women showed up here performing like this, then their coaches have led them to believe they are doing pull-ups and it's okay to do them this way. I was disappointed in the "competition" factor of this event, because anyone could beat their time by several minutes doing these silly-looking pull-ups.

But I reminded myself of why I was there. I was there to beat my best. My best is chin over bar on a pull-up. My best is showing full range of motion in every movement. And on that day, my best, even at an unideal location, meant that I was over a minute faster.

Will I attend the next event? I'm not sure. Those pull-up bars hurt my hands. Many, if not most, women did not perform their pull-ups correctly. The next event is Fran. I can just imagine how many women will not be showing the proper range of motion on a "thruster." But then I remember why I was there. Why I show up every day to Crossfit. It wasn't about the competition with others. It's about beating my best. And I'd love to try. So, if we can get a large group of women together to represent from our gym, I'm willing to go. However, this brings up another thought- if I don't think this event is being run the right way . . .what's holding us back from sponsoring and hosting our own "Beat Your Best" series, open to both men and women?

When you crave chocolate . . .

Today was my first day back at the gym since Valentines day. That makes 2 weeks and 2 days. The first week we were doing some exercising on the ski slopes in Mammoth and June Lake. The second week, well, I let work interfere with my life and didn't make it to the gym. I always get so angry with myself when I let work take over my life. 

And after spending a week of neglecting myself and my family, I took Monday to catch up on things around the house. Tuesday I spent time with my fiance, who I have missed with all this concentrating on work. And today, finally, voila, CROSSFIT again! 

And, ahhh. I needed that. I was wondering if my intense chocolate cravings had to do with missing out on the gym. Like, as if the happy spirit that working out gives me might be satisfied by chocolate. I DID make a good effort, though! 

But no. There is nothing quite as satisfying, stress-relieving, and happiness-inducing then being back at the gym. And tonight I was determined to go RX, which meant doing 20 inch  box jumps. It's doable but a little daunting for me, being less than 5 feet tall. 

I am looking forward to Crossfit Anaheim's competition this Saturday. I get to compete with my own time on the Helen workout I did back in October, and the winner of the competition will be determined by who beats their time the most. This is the perfect competition for me! 

Slow and steady . . .

Today I was given a glimpse into the past. One of my coaches, Geo, shared a video clip with me, taken the first month I started Crossfitting, in January 2010.

Wow. First of all, my butt looked so big! The video shows me standing on a huge pile of weights to do pull-ups because we did not have many boxes at that time. There I am, slowly working my way through jumping pull-ups! Did I mention my ass looked big, and not in the cute ghetto-booty way that I am known for?!!!

Reggie is also in the clip doing something with a PVC pipe. It makes me wonder if our coaches thought we'd last! We looked like a fat couple that would give up after a few weeks of sweat.

The lesson: Sometimes I get discouraged, because I want to bounce back to being as strong and fit as I was before my injury. But tonight I was able to SEE where I was a year ago and I'm confident that I will continue to grow stronger and fitter with every passing month. Slowly and steadily, I'll get there . . .

In the meantime, I want my coaches to share that video clip with every newbie. I want them to know that I started exactly where they are, probably in even worse shape, and that soon enough they'll be faster, stronger, and healthier.

A test of character

“You only ever grow as a human being if you go outside your comfort zone.” This quote, which is painted on the wall of my gym, often runs through my mind during a workout or even during my week.

It’s easy to associate this quote with the physical sense, especially at the gym. But today, I had a good dose of the emotional context of stepping outside my comfort zone . . .

. . . I was all smiles. My heart raced, a mixture of too much coffee and excitement to be back! It has been 5 months since I’ve been able to do a regular Crossfit workout due to an unrelated injury. As an athlete, this has been incredibly frustrating. During the warmup, everyone cheerfully welcomed me back. I’ve been keeping up with the gym, but often only made it in twice a week because I couldn’t modify most of the workouts without changing every aspect of them.

Today’s workout was portioned into two sections: a strength-training workout and a metabolic-conditioning (met-con) workout. I was happy to reach 65# on the hanging power-cleans my first day back. I know with some practice in form I can get that a little higher. Everything was as it should be: I was working out, as prescribed, my best friends were around me, and I even grunted a little on the Bulgarian split-squats.

Then it was time for the met-con workout. The apprehension about doing “thrusters” had lingered all day. Of course, at first I eagerly planned to do 65#. Easy stuff, before my injury I could do 75# thrusters. That’s what I told myself. I decided to play with the weight, do what felt right, and not go crazy my first day back. I warmed up with 60# and decided to stay with it for the workout. 3, 2, 1, go! I had 10 minutes to complete as many rounds as possible (AMRAP) of 12 thrusters, 24 pull-ups, and 24 ring dips.

So there I am, I’m on my 6^th or 7^th thruster and I see Laura has finished and is running over to the pull-up bar. That’s okay, she’s super strong and seems to have a knack for thrusters. Then everyone else is soon to follow her, and I’m still on my 8^th thruster. It had been so long since I’ve done a thruster, I forgot where to place my hands on the barbell. First, they were too far apart. Then, too close. I lost some precious seconds trying to figure it out.

That’s okay, I shrugged it off, got my 12 thrusters done and ran over to attack the ring dips. Fail. I did 6 and decided they weren’t as easy as I remembered and ran over to do regular dips on the box. Ouch. Got to 12. Felt like sitting on the box. In fact, I DID sit on the box! As I was sitting there, I felt defeated. I told myself that I just couldn’t do it. I wasn’t even close to being done with round 1. I looked at the On-Ramp version for beginners. It looked perfect. I almost scaled down. However, I got some encouragement from a fellow Crossfitter named Ari. He helped me get through the rest of the dips.

Then time for pull-ups. I motivated myself with thoughts like, “Here is my chance to make up for those dips! I can do at least 5 in a row without stopping, on a good day, maybe even 8!” No. Not today. I was just crushed when I saw the clock. Four minutes left. How could that be?! Four minutes left and I hadn’t completed my first round?!! Those thoughts were damaging. I strung together 3-4 pull-ups at a time.  I asked Ian to strip the weight off my bar so I could do quicker thrusters. I had to make up for this slowness somewhere in the workout.

The thoughts kept whirling through my head. “Slow. A failure. Out of shape. But, was I ever in shape enough to do a workout like this, and do 1 or 2  more rounds? I couldn’t imagine it. Maybe I’m not cut out for this shit. How can I tell my coach, when he asks me how many rounds I completed, that I only did one?” I pictured squeaking it out like a little mouse. I thought about pretending I could do more. Yes, for about 20 seconds I actually considered lying. But I decided I would just stand near Ian when it was my turn to report in and just whisper it to him. That was my plan. Even now, my eyes well with tears at the embarrassment and shame I felt.

But then I heard the others reporting in. Apparently, the quicker people completed only two rounds. Some of these two-rounders had lighter weight than me.

The realization that we were just given a workout, asked to complete as many rounds as possible, and that only completing one round was not an indicator of total failure, slowly became apparent to me. Since when do we ever get AMRAP workouts, and two-three rounds is what the best Crossfitters achieve? Since today. My first day back.

I am proud of myself for deciding to stick with what I knew to be right- honesty with myself and others about my rounds. I have never lied about my performance, I’m here for myself and I will not grow if I’m dishonest. I’m upset that I had Ian strip my weight, I could have stuck with that 60# bar. I’m surprised at how quickly I was ready to give up and I’m surprised at how weak I felt.

What an emotional day back. But, I grew. I’m back.  And next week, I’ll be a little stronger. But today, I stand a little taller with some integrity boosting my spirit. After all, "We're forging elite fitness but we're filtering for character." -- Coach Greg Glassman

The Missing Piece

You work long hours. Maybe you have children to attend to afterwards. You are tired and have the arduous task of preparing meals, checking homework, and all of the other things life has thrown at you that day. The last thing you want to think about is exercise . . .because, well, you're tired!

And if you've ever had this train of thought . . . you don't know what you're missing. Because the correct exercise program will invigorate you after the long day of work. It will awaken your body,  your muscles, your heart, and you will become better and more efficient at all of the things remaining to be done after your long day of work.

For some reason, we are automatically programmed to believe that exercising will only make us more tired. I remember going to 24 hour fitness. I spent an hour on the elliptical machine. Maybe did the treadmill. It was boring. My body didn't feel awakened. I probably felt more tired. If you feel like this after exercising, you need to switch up the exercise program. For me, the solution was Crossfit.

Today was my first day back at the gym in at least a month. I couldn't stop smiling. I said it out loud, "I'm SO happy I'm back." I wanted to shout it. And at the end, in the car, I cried. Because I was so happy and felt so alive. A feeling that I haven't had for a month. I went a month without recharging my batteries. How long has it been for you? Are you too tired? No time? While working out feels like the last thing you need, dare I say, it's the only thing you need. Everything else seems to fall into place after that. Working out is like a ripple effect into the other areas of your life, suddenly you realize that you worked too damn hard to mess it up with unhealthy food. You don't mind walking longer distances through the parking lot. After all, your whole body is alive . . .I almost forgot what I was missing after a month. I can't wait to go back tomorrow.

Lesson of a Resting Crossfitter

I recently read an article about what traits successful teachers generally have in common. One of the traits was that the teachers were constantly re-evaluating and reflecting on their practice. Another common trait was a teacher who strives for the best and sets a high bar for his/her students, not being satisfied with mediocrity.

These traits also translate into what makes for a good athlete or Crossfitter.

Often at the gym, Dawn Fletcher will remind us to think about 3 things we did well and 1 thing we'd like to improve on next time. We set goals and our coaches support us in giving us tips to meet these goals. We write down the results of a workout and reflect back on them over time to see the progress being made.

We also test our limits, never satisfied with mediocrity. And sometimes, on those days when all we have to deliver is a mediocre performance, we go home frowning and determined to do better, eat better, sleep better, or fix whatever was  hindering us during that particular workout.

To truly test a limit, it seems logical that you go until you reach failure. If I can lift an 80 pound thruster, how will I know if that is my limit if I don't try adding 5 more pounds, and 5 more, until I start dropping the bar? Smart athletes test their limits safely. Because, after all, we want to come back for another day to test them again.

Admittedly, there is something in the air at a Crossfit gym. Some think it's in the water. Maybe it's in the chalk we rub on our hands before a workout. Whatever it is, it brings out the crazy in us. Just the other day,  I was visiting and saying "hi" to all my friends. I'm not supposed to be working out. And the next thing I know, in my work clothes, I'm doing push-ups and jumping rope. It was exhilarating!!

You, and only YOU, know yourself and your limitations. Doctors are helpful resources, but my most recent experience leads me to believe they are more like useful consultants. I have seen 5-6 Kaiser doctors and each one has told me something different. I like hearing the range of opinions that come from varying education backgrounds and age-groups.

But I'm not going to let the previous advice that I received get in my way of working out. The doctor I saw yesterday, who knows Crossfit, has given me the most valuable advice I could hope for.  He showed me how to breathe (which our coaches have showed us, like exhaling as we lift the weight) to alleviate pressure in my abdominal area, which causes problems for me right now. I can't keep my core super-tight, which is fine when I use a lighter weight. He scoffed at the doctor who told me I shouldn't run a 5k.

Will I take his advice completely? No. He seemed a little too enthusiastic about me being able to do everything I was before. I need to do what is right for my body. Going light-weight and taking it easy is the right way for me to go. I know myself and will listen to my body, which never fails to let me know if I have pushed too hard.

 Every now and then I'll test my limits. And every now and then I'll be put back in my place. But isn't that what life is all about? Isn't that how we progress- as teachers, as athletes, as human beings?

So now the real question is, do I make my debut in our gym's little weight-lifting competition?!! It would be so awesome to beat even one person, knowing I beat them doing my "light-weight." And of course, that's just me breathing in the Crossfit crazy air . . .

Course Correction

So my journey of healing, while maintaining a decent level of fitness continues. My diet last week was really great: hardboiled eggs for breakfast; some nuts for a snack; salads for lunch; and a lean/healthy meat with veggies for dinner. Hey, I even lost 2 pounds!

Walking, push-ups, and jump-roping? Didn't happen last week.

Then Sunday came. I had a little too much fun. Well, is there such a thing? But one mimosa after another led to me eating my friend's leftover desert. Since when do I eat other people's leftover deserts?!! I got home too late and unmotivated to prepare for my upcoming week. Because, as you probably already know, eating healthy takes a little preparation.

Then I had a great idea on Sunday night. We should just order pizza, and I would be able to eat the leftovers for lunch the next day (and solve my problem of not having a salad to eat). Yes, it was just genius. So we did.

But Monday morning I woke up realizing this was a mistake. Maybe the magic of the mimosas had worn off, but I knew that diet still had to be a priority for me if working out isn't possible. I am known for not being a morning-person. But I made no excuses. I boiled the water, prepared the eggs, grabbed some leftover nuts, and ventured off to work with the pizza still in the refrigerator. It was hard to leave behind food, knowing I was wasting it, but I was determined to get back on track. And I got through my Monday, even ended up eating the school lunch- a chicken salad.

So the lesson that I learned, and continue to learn, is that when I mess up, I can't stay in that unhappy place or drive deeper into the jungle of bad decisions. I have to do what I can to correct myself and maintain a steady course towards the elite fitness I desire.

After all, I AM an athlete!